April 24, 2008, I had my first major African animal experience. Let's say I'm glad I had my flashlight. Here's how it went down: in dramatic form.
(Sterling walks into darkened house)
Scorpion: Hey dude.
Sterling: WHOA! F***ING SCORPION! WHAT THE F*** ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE?!
Scorpion: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Chill out dude.
Sterling: HOLY F***! F***ING SCORPION!
Scorpion: Stop shouting man, you're givin' me the fear!
Sterling: KILL IT! F***ING KILL IT!!!
Scorpion: Kill it?! Are you mental? How about we all just calm down here. We can work something out. (Sterling begins to remove sandal) Okay, let's not do anything we'll regret.
Sterling: DIE, YOU BASTARD, DIE!
(Sterling launches his sandal at scorpion with all the force he can muster. It hits the scorpion, crushing it with one mighty blow.)
Scorpion: This isn't because I ate all your beef jerky is it?
Sterling: YOU ATE MY BEEF JERKY?!
(Sterling repeatedly smashes mostly dead scorpion with his sandal.)
Scorpion: Ouch. (dies)
(The curtain falls)
THE END
I hope you've enjoyed this slightly random dramatic interpretation based on actual events. (Except for the beef jerky part. I added that for comedic release.)
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