Animal Encounters II

Every once in a while, you have to step back and think, "What the hell is that goat doing in my house?" It's times like these that make you realize that you're not in the West anymore, that animals are a natural part of life here that cannot be avoided. At post, in a village of less than 1000 people, of course one must expect a certain amount of animal interaction. The cow walking into your concession and eating the fence. The lizards that scramble over walls and rooftops. The camel parking lot at market. These things have become so natural that they don't feel unusual anymore.

However, it's when you go into Niamey, Niger's capital, that you feel like you're in the twilight zone. The largest, best developed city in the country abounds with dirt side streets and roaming livestock. It's impossible to know who these animals belong too. They just wander through the streets. I don't know where they go or what they eat, but they're there. They're always there.

A few examples. Today we walked into our hostel in Niamey, the regional hostel for Tillaberi and the national hostel for all the Volunteers in Nige, and we were greeted by a VERY pissed off ram. Probably fully aware that it was just waiting around to be eaten tonight. Don't feel too bad, goat pizza is very tasty. Or take the example today when I wanted to cross the street, but couldn't see around the camels hauling fodder along the side of the road. I just needed to take a guess and hope I wasn't killed by the crazy Nigerien traffic. This traffic doesn't even need to include vehicles. The other day we were driving back through Niamey and saw a heard of sheep in the middle of one of the largest, busiest roundabouts in the city.

Like everything else in this country, some days you just have to sit back, relax, and never think "Am I losing my mind, or is that donkey riding shotgun in an open-backed truck?" More than likely it is, and that is not unusual.

Animal Encounters: A Dialogue

April 24, 2008, I had my first major African animal experience. Let's say I'm glad I had my flashlight. Here's how it went down: in dramatic form.


(Sterling walks into darkened house)

Scorpion: Hey dude.

Sterling: WHOA! F***ING SCORPION! WHAT THE F*** ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE?!

Scorpion: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Chill out dude.

Sterling: HOLY F***! F***ING SCORPION!

Scorpion: Stop shouting man, you're givin' me the fear!

Sterling: KILL IT! F***ING KILL IT!!!

Scorpion: Kill it?! Are you mental? How about we all just calm down here. We can work something out. (Sterling begins to remove sandal) Okay, let's not do anything we'll regret.

Sterling: DIE, YOU BASTARD, DIE!

(Sterling launches his sandal at scorpion with all the force he can muster. It hits the scorpion, crushing it with one mighty blow.)

Scorpion: This isn't because I ate all your beef jerky is it?

Sterling: YOU ATE MY BEEF JERKY?!

(Sterling repeatedly smashes mostly dead scorpion with his sandal.)

Scorpion: Ouch. (dies)

(The curtain falls)

THE END

I hope you've enjoyed this slightly random dramatic interpretation based on actual events. (Except for the beef jerky part. I added that for comedic release.)